Log in

15 July 2010 @ 11:35 pm
So I need to manage my anxiety. Journaling was suggested to me, but I don't know how well it will work. Then a few hours later I thought of something that I wanted to write down but for the life of me can't remember what it was. My nails are getting so long that it's hard to type. I may cut them, but they've never been so evenly long. All of my nails are the same length and that rarely happens. Well, I certainly hope that no one is reading this mess that is spilling out of my head and into these long-nailed fingers. I keep tonguing a patch of raw skin just inside my cheek, biting at it and making it worse. I woke up this morning with my lips dry and the inside of my mouth chewed to bits, but I don't recall having any dreams. I'm listening to artificial rain along side a piano piece by Edvard Grieg. Very relaxing, I must say. So relaxing, in fact, that I will read some of my first Lovecraft book, The Lurking Fear.

03 September 2009 @ 12:16 pm
I was with this dude (I think it was Toff, but it could have been someone else). He lived in this warehouse type place with tons of stuffed animals and old canned food. We were lying on the stuffed animals and he got up to get a can of beans. Then we were at my house and he microwaved the can of beans. Since the can was really old, the bottom of the can was like rotting so when he was eating them, the bottom of the can came off and he spilled beans on my driveway. I cleaned them up with a rag and was trying to like reassure him that it was ok and trying to make him not feel embarrassed. Then he got another can of beans and did the same thing. I was cleaning them up again and my mom cam home and got really mad at me because we didn't pour the beans into a separate bowl before microwaving them. All the while, I'm trying to scrub beans out of the concrete with a rag. wtf.
26 June 2009 @ 11:55 pm
19 June 2009 @ 04:26 pm

meet Ichiko!Collapse )
09 June 2009 @ 07:16 pm
My birthday is soon// here is my wishlist

06 June 2009 @ 12:53 am
I kept forgetting my 8:15am class. I forgot it every day for a week (the first week of class).
31 May 2009 @ 11:03 am
I don't remember who I was with, I think it was Melanie. We were sitting on these big rocks in the middle of this big building complex and smoking a hookah. There wasn't anyone around. When we were finished, Melanie tossed the charcoal into a little grassy patch with a small tree and it caught fire. We immediately ran over, Melanie tried to put it out with her sweatshirt and I threw some water on it, then there was a little boy who was walking by and somehow some of the fire got onto the top of his head. It went out immediately but it singed his hair and he was crying and still walking away. I yelled to him asking if he wanted me to pour water on it and he was like "NO I'm late for math!" He walked in the direction of one of the buildings and then back another way like he was lost and was walking back and forth like the fire had burned away his sense of direction. As Melanie and I were packing up, a TON of people came outside (like class had been let out or something) and a bunch of people crowded around this boy and were on their cell phones glaring at us as we frantically packed up to try and get away. Two big hispanic guys came and linked arms with us and lead us over to where all the people were. They told us that the police were on their way. I was frantically trying to think of something else that could have started the fire other than a hookah, because if my mom found out I was "putting fire into my lungs" as she calls it, she would be pissed. I could hear all of the other people saying the word hookah, so I know that they were going to tell the police that that's what it was.
Sometime later, we had like a lawyer (who was actually my high school band director Mr. Priode) and he made up this totally bogus story to tell in court and it was really stressful. All the while, my manager at Chuck E. Cheese's had told me to come in at 3:45 to work my first shift of the summer (I'm not working there btw) and I wasn't going to be able to make it because of court and it was really scary. I was almost more afraid of my boss than the judge at court. haha
29 May 2009 @ 08:16 pm
in purchasing some space paintings of mine?

if I were to keep making them?
20 May 2009 @ 04:55 pm
I got my vertical labret pierced on saturday and I haven't had any problems with it so far until today around 10pm. Out of nowhere, my lip started GUSHING blood like nobody's business. Not like drip drip, but like when you turn the faucet on really low.. like streaming out of my lip. I applied pressure and it clotted, but then started up again a little while later, did the same thing and it stopped again. Then the third time that it happened, it wouldn't stop. My mom and I went to the emergency room, I was getting light headed and shaky and my mom thought I was going to bleed to death (I had already filled up a whole trash bag with bloody tissues).

When I finally saw the doctor, she took one look at it and immediately said "It's infected, it needs to come out." Obviously to which I said that if it is indeed infected that it wasn't coming out. She stood there and argued with me for a while about this. She asked someone to get some hydrogen peroxide to which I told her she was NOT putting anywhere near my piercing. She was making me SO angry that I was practically sobbing.

Meanwhile, I've got Niagra Falls streaming down my chest and she orders me antibiotics. She was pulling and tugging at my piercing to clean the blood off (which if I kept it in, could have caused hypertrophic scarring, or if taken out, would leave more scar tissue) so I was absolutely livid by this point. After jerking it around for about 20 minutes, she said that I had to take it out or it wouldn't stop bleeding. I argued with her again about how if it was indeed infected that I shouldn't take the jewelry out, so she left me in the room for about an hour to see if the bleeding would stop with pressure and ice.

After quite a while of pressure and ice, she returned and the bleeding hadn't subsided so she took it out. If an infection builds up inside my lip and has to be cut out, I'm going to sue her.

My discharge instructions tell me to clean the infection with hydrogen peroxide which I feel is NOT what I should do. Should I continue doing my SSS? (once all of the bleeding has subsided)

What do you guys think about this? Please tell me I'm not going crazy. I absolutely can not believe that I was treated this way by a medical "professional".

What could have caused the bleeding? Is that something common with infections? I didn't bite it or catch it on anything, it was just out of nowhere. The doctor also said that it would be ok to be re-pierced later, but do you think that maybe it was pierced through a major vein and shouldn't be pierced there again?

I just had to rant about this before going to bed. Thanks in advance.

it was cute though...Collapse )
19 May 2009 @ 10:03 pm